Inappropriate Memoriam

I don't understand why, when the "In Memoriam" segment is aired during the Golden Globes, Emmys, SAG awards, or Oscars, the audience is allowed to clap for each dead celebrity. Couldn't they tell the audience to hold their applause until the very end? The Clap-O-Meter is sort of inappropriate. What judges who gets the most applause? How does Joe Cinamatographer feel up there in Heaven when he gets less applause than the rousing claps and hollers for John McSuperCelebrity?

Also, during the SAG awards tonight, I learned that the man who voiced the Jolly Green Giant died in the past year. When they first showed the clip, though, it was from the actual commercial, and my first thought was "Oh my God, the GREEN GIANT died?!"

Boxes and Tape and Clutter, Oh My

I am moving in the middle of February to a house with my fiance, so I am currently packing up everything in my apartment in preparation to move. And it is turning out to be a huge task. I have lived in this apartment for over two and a half years and the amount of crap that I've accumulated never ceases to astound me. How did I end up with all this stuff, anyway? No matter how much I pack up to give to Goodwill or throw out, THERE IS STILL MORE.

Out of It

Wanna know how out of it I was today? The school that I work at has two specific t-shirt days every week. Wednesdays are district t-shirt days, and Fridays are school t-shirt days. The teachers are really into these t-shirt days because it's pretty much an excuse to wear comfy jeans to school. Well, today I wore a t-shirt to school, but it was the wrong one. You would think that I would have noticed because the district shirt is grey and the school shirt is BLAZING RED. I didn't even notice until lunchtime when a second grader pointed it out to me.

I need sleep.

Up, Down, Up, Down

What is up with the weather here in southwest Missouri? For a while, the high temperatures went up and down like a rollercoaster. One day it would be 60 degrees for a high, the next day it would be 40 or 30. Bizarre. And then the meteorologists would predict snow on the days when the high would be 30, but since it was so warm the day before, there would be no way that the snow would stick and stay. This week it is going to be in the 50s just about every day. Are we skipping from fall directly to spring? Will there be no chance of snow days this year? Is nothing sacred?

A Stupid Question Deserves a Stupid Answer

I have worked in retail on and off since 1996, and I have lost track of how many times a customer has come up to me while I was on the clock, taking a long look at my nametag with both my name and the store's name clearly emblazoned on it, and has asked "Do you work here?"

Once, just once, I have wanted to answer, "No, I don't work here. I'm a random customer, just like you. But I like to fool other people by posing as a sales associate. You see, I have a rather large collection at home of name badges from various stores that I enjoy wearing just for kicks."

Or something of that nature. Wouldn't that be satisfying?

Overworked and Underpaid

This is my fifth year in the field of education. I started out at one school teaching fifth grade, and then switched to second grade due to my preference for younger children. Then I moved down here to Springfield and substitute taught for one year in the area. I hated subbing so much that I was ready to find any sort of position so I wouldn't ever have to do that again. That is how I got my current position, as a computer "aide."

The word aide is in quotation marks because my job position and my contract state that I am an aide, but in reality I am an aide to no one; I am the main teacher in the computer lab. I plan and execute the lessons. Last year the aide label applied a little bit more, when the regular classroom teachers accompanied their students to the computer lab and stayed with them for the entire class period to help out. But this year, the teachers drop off their students and leave them with me for a fifty minute period, just like with any other special class like art, music, and P.E. The label of aide affects how much I get paid. I currently am paid half as much as a regular classroom teacher makes. It hardly seems fair, especially since I do the exact same amount of work as the other special class teachers, but my pay is not the same.

I believe the position came to be this way due to the drastic education budget cuts that affected everyone in the state in 2003, and the position has never come all the way back to being regular teacher salary pay. There never seems to be enough in the district budget; there are always more positions that need to be added for the individual schools that shove it further down the list. This year, I was not the only person complaining about my salary; the district technology coordinator was fighting for it, too, as well as several other teachers within my school. No one seemed to think it was fair, and they were ready to help out in any way possible.

The school board had a meeting last Thursday night where they decided to add over 30 new positions to the district as a whole, the majority going to the new high school that will open in the fall. As for the computer "aide" designation... well, it's going to stay that way for an additional year. The district superintendent sympathizes, but there is nothing he can do.

Like any other person, I was extremely angry and frustrated when I heard this news. I truly do love the position that I currently have, with the exception of the pay. I love being a special class teacher and working with all of the children and all the grades in the elementary school. I love showing the kids what they can do with technology and doing projects with the older students. The kids always enjoy coming the computer lab and it's great to see their faces light up when they learn something new or they are having fun. It breaks my heart that I may not be doing this again next year and that I will have to start looking for another job, again, for yet another year.

Ode to Canadian Geese

There is a manmade pond here at the apartment complex where I live. It has a very nice walking path that surrounds it that would be great for me to use for my weekly exercise. I have only used this walking path a mere handful of times. Why, you may ask? Answer: Canadian geese.

I didn't always hate Canadian geese. I thought they were kind of funny when I was younger, since they made amusing honking noises as they flew throught the air. But now I know better. My mom told me about a woman in the neighborhood who had a domesticated Canadian goose as a pet. This goose was harmless and civilized until one day, when it bit its owner in the leg and wouldn't let go; it clamped down for the long run.

There is a big group of Canadian geese that frequent the manmade pond. Last year they had quite a few baby geese. On one of my walking treks, I passed by the group of geese, careful to keep my eyes ahead but on the alert, and walking at a quick pace. I wasn't even within a few feet of the geese when one of the mothers hissed at me. It was a creepy, gutteral sound that still haunts me to this day. I hurried the hell out of there, and don't ever use that path for walking if I spot the geese anywhere near it.

Stupid geese.